Another Job Interview

What’s the saying about raining and pouring?

I’ve spent two months without as much as a single positive response to a job application. In the last month alone, I’ve put in over 100 job applications to receive multiple ‘we’ve gone in a different direction’ emails or some variation thereof.

Now, I mentioned last week that I recently got a job. It wasn’t a great job. It was 5 hours a day, 5 days a week, at a call center basically doing customer service. I haven’t STARTED that job yet because the training schedule is weird so I’m still waiting for that but I did ACCEPT that job.

Fastforward to yesterday, July 30, and I get a phone call. I applied for this teaching/tutoring gig at the local community college FOREVER ago and they called me YESTERDAY. Now I’m freaking out because, while teaching isn’t my dream career, it’s much closer than answering customer calls all day.

I have interview for that tomorrow, Friday, and in true Spencer Hastings manner, I’m over preparing and stressing for excellence. I’m also worried about what will happen if I’m offered this job and then I have to turn down the job at the call center. Will I appear flakey? Will it even matter, really?

On top of that, one of my former professors, who is now a close, dear friend, applied for a teaching job at this same school and didn’t get it. I feel like she deserves it so much more than me. She’s actually taught before. She has a masters. And I’m just little old me. It doesn’t make sense.

I’m excited for the interview anyways. I’m sincerely hoping I get it because it’s more applicable to what I want to do. It would also allow me to get my substitute teaching licensure, which the other job wouldn’t have given me time to do. So I guess I’ll keep you updated.

I hope you’re having a great week and I hope you’re enjoying my attempts to regulate posts (aka Monday and Thursday). Give me feedback. Tell me about your lives. I want to know those of you who read this.


30-Day Challenge: Insecurities

12. Insecurities. They’re a thing. Share at least one of yours and way you’ve managed to deal with it.

You guys don’t know me. Hell, I don’t even know me most of the time. But I have a very… particular personality. I hide my insecurities behind humor, self-deprication, and a false ego to an obnoxious degree. I’m kind of a bitch, to be honest.

And I’m not going to use this post to defend myself for having those moments, nor am I going to use it to justify my personality flaws. But I will use this post to explain who I am and how I cope with things.


This is one of the most recent photos of me. It’s from Christmas morning, I was snapchatting friends, and my stepmother caught it on camera.

This is not an attractive photo of me.

I’ve always been big and I’m sure you all know that kids are cruel. I spent most of my formative years being picked on and basically hating myself..

They don’t tell you everything in all of those anti-bullying commercials and seminars and everything else they make kids sit through that never actually work. Trust me, I’ve sat through an hour long ‘bullying is wrong’ lecture with my 4th grade class only to be called ‘beached whale’ and ‘fatso’ as soon as we go out for recess.

What they leave out though is what you’re supposed to do when it’s not your classmates who are treating you like crap for your body at the ripe old age of 7. They don’t tell you how to deal when it’s the people who are supposed to love you, unconditionally. They don’t tell you how to deal with how much your own parent can’t stand to look at you.

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30 Day Challenge: What’s the story, morning glory?

5. List 5 things you wish people knew about you without having to explain the, oftentimes lengthy, story behind them.

The worst thing about this prompt is that I came up with the damn thing and now I can’t remember what the five things were that inspired me to suggest it.


(I don’t have a source for the GIF because I saved it FOREVER ago but know that it’s NOT MINE)

Thankfully, I can remember a few so I’m going to try my best to flesh out five of them

1) I dropped out of high school. A lot of people think that’s not a big deal because it’s pretty common, especially for the area in which I grew up, but they don’t know me. Up until my junior year, I was an A/B student, I was in clubs and organizations, I was not the type of student you expect to drop out of high school. But that leads me to number 2.

2) I suffer(ed) from severe depression as a teenager. You’ll find out more details about this on day 12, when I discuss my insecurities, but it’s really only mentioned in passing. I was diagnosed at 14 but by 16, my depression was so debilitating that I rarely got out of bed in the morning, which lead to missing a lot of school and my grades dropping. I was on meds for a while and in therapy for a long time but now, I manage any mood swings without either. I’m actually considered ‘cured’ if there is such a thing as a cure for depression.

3) I only have one biological sibling but, when asked, I say I am 1 of 6 kids. My parents divorced when I was young and both have since remarried. I have an older stepsister, two older stepbrothers, one younger biological sister, and one brother who we call ‘adopted’ but is by no legal means actually related to me but who I have known most of my life and will always refer to as my brother. I may not actually be related to any of those individuals, excluding my sister, but they are my siblings and I will always refer to them as such.

4) I have enough daddy issues to make the Winchesters look normal. These will be elaborated on some more in Day 12 also. The gist of it, though, is I tolerate my dad because of entirely materialistic reasons that include but are not limited to his bank account and the fact that he has much more expendable income that my mother. I don’t live off of his money by any means but when it comes down to needing rent money or textbooks, I have to call him because I have no other choice. Again, more explanation of these daddy issues will come about in Day 12 and possibly others (day 12 is the only other one I’ve already written by this point) so look forward to that drama.

5) I have to have music playing at all times. This is my ‘grasping for air’ choice but it actually does explain a bit about my personality. I’m not sure if it’s a residual thing from therapy and learning to deal with my emotions and just myself over the years but I have to have music at all times. I can’t sleep if there’s not music playing. I can’t drive if I don’t have music playing. I don’t do well with silence. I only mention the sleeping and the driving examples because that’s when it’s most notable but it’s the same walking across campus or riding the bus or even if I’m in the car with other people. When it comes to sleeping/driving, my brain tends to work in overdrive to the point where I won’t sleep at all if I don’t have something else to focus on. I spent most of middle school and high school drugging myself to sleep (with nyquil or tylenol PM) just to shut my brain up. When I drive, music forces me to pay attention. If it’s not playing, I tend to get lost in my own mind and not focus on the road and trust me, I’ve been in enough accidents without needing another hazardous condition. I guess it’s all the same, really. I need the music to get me out of my own head, so I’ll stop nitpicking everything about myself or thinking others are judging me or, even worse, falling back into a depressive state. Sometimes, I honestly think I can better communicate how I’m feeling or how my day has been with a  song rather than stumbling through words. It’s not nearly as traumatic as it sounds but over the years, I’ve learned that some people simply can’t sleep or do homework or whatever if there’s noise so I’ve had to get used to explaining my reasons for needing it.

So there’s some information about me. Have I scared you guys off yet? I hope not.

I’d love to hear some things about y’all that you find yourself having to explain pretty often.


Oh goodness, I’ve succumb to peer pressure and created a big kid blog!

My two beautiful friends Maggie (maggiewholivesathome) and Kristi (ilovegypsylife) recently started their own blogs and have convinced me to hop on the bandwagon. In doing so, Maggie found the Zero to Hero Challenge and now we’re all going to become real boys… wait, I mean bloggers.

The first assignment is to introduce yourself and to introduce your blog. So let’s start with the easy part. I’m Brittany (Brit or B for short), I’m 23 years old, and I just graduated from college. I double majored in English and Public Relations and I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing with my life.

As for this blog, my primary motivation is to have something to do with all the free time I suddenly have without school. I have a job (a retail position at a local pharmacy that I’ve had since I was 17) but without classes, I’m going to be spending a lot of time trying to find a real job and watching a lot of Netflix.

Originally, I was thinking of a blog about my insatiable wanderlust and how in love I am with places I’ve never been and cultures I’ve never experienced. Then I realized that should a potential employer ever see that, they’d think I was just trying to run as far away from responsibilities as possible which is simply not the case.

I am passionately and inexplicably in love with the human experience and the beauty of life and the world. I honestly believe there is no such thing as an insignificant person. In a perfect world, I could spend every day of the rest of my life documenting the life stories of strangers, showing the world just how important the littlest part of their life is to the grander scheme of things.

Alas, this is not a perfect world and things like bills and student loans exist. Because of those responsibilities, I have career ambitions that will hopefully allow me to reconcile my love for the world and the people in it with the requirements of a livelihood.

In the end, I guess this blog is my first step in figuring out how to make that happen, how to attach my infinite wanderlust with my pragmatic responsibilities.

Until then, I’m Brittany, and this is my blog.